This ol' tough shell has taken a triple whammy over the past few weeks. (Stop snickering, guys. I really do have a tough shell!) Part one of this three-part series on rejection and intuition follows.
First, I auditioned for the play Doubt. I haven't performed in a long time, but it was a cold-reading audition, which is a strong suit. A stipend was offered, so that makes it more worth the time away from home. Rehearsals were a few times a week, all evenings and weekends. Also, the character is a prudish and somewhat timid teacher--I mean, I wouldn't even have to act, right? (Ha.) And the theatre was located right near the new house we'll be moving to soon. Pretty much an ideal scenario.
So I sent my headshot and resume to the SM, and I arranged to audition after a long evening of choreography rehearsal with my kids for my current show. I made it there early, they were running behind, I read for the part with the actor who was already cast in the role opposite...and I nailed it.
Folks, I felt really good about this audition. Any of you guys who have auditioned before (or really, anyone who watches American Idol) know that feeling when you did a good job. Of course, you never know if they'd ultimately prefer someone taller/shorter/older/younger than you in the role, and that can't be helped. But I was confident I'd be back on Wednesday for the callbacks; so confident, in fact, that I was asking the stage manager about rehearsal scheduling.
But I didn't even get a callback!
I really should have known. I've auditioned for this particular theatre several times before, and I never. ever. ever. get cast. The leading ladies that get cast tend to skew towards the - how can I put this delicately - higher BMI than myself. I'm sure it's a coincidence, and if it's not, it's actually pretty awesome, since the skew is usually in the dead opposite direction.
But that's not the point. The point is how dead awful wrong my intuition was. Am I just rusty after being away from the stage for a while? Am I getting complacent? I have no problem being rejected for a role--it's happened a million times. I am much much less OK with my internal barometer of success being off-kilter.
But hey, walk it off. Whatever, it really should be Patrick's turn to do a show anyway. And that intuition malfunction? Probably just a fluke.